Dear madam,

Your son has received his third detention since transferring to Harborfront Elementary. As we have not been able to reach you by phone and you have not signed off on his previous detentions, I am obligated to request your signatures on those as well.

On September 1st, his first day of school, he upset several of his classmates by claiming to live in the bottom of a swamp, which he described as your "domain".

On September 21st he threw rocks at a boy and claimed it was a necessary sacrifice for the harvest. While all religions and creeds are welcome at Harborfront, we cannot permit any behavior that jeopardizes student safety.

Today he was found in a circle of soot in the gymnasium by staff members preparing for an assembly. He became quite agitated and yelled at staff members in an unknown language. Many teachers afterwards had physical manifestations of stress, such as nosebleeds and migraines, and had to leave work for the day. Though these are of course not the fault of your son, they speak to his tendency to distress those around him.

The attached forms are below. We would like to discuss these and other incidents at your earliest convenience.

Best, Mrs. Petri Oct 31